heads work and more

well there is nothing like having a year off work to make something go fast is there!!
when i left work to have emily i was very lucky to have ALOT of long service leave and 12 weeks of maternity up my sleeve...all of which i was then allowed to double by taking half payments each fortnight giving me just over a year at home with my beautiful girls
this week it all came to an end.! I do enjoy my job...im a primary school teacher, its challenging and im not a paper work kind of girl so i would of sucked in a office somehwere i can tell u I do enjoy watching children learn and knowing that i was responsible for leading them down the path to learning and take my job very seriously and try to make sure its down to the best possible what i find difficult is the politics of school life i think i can safely say that this week i recieved NO SUPPORT from my colleagues....zip none nothing ! they have spent their time this week bitching about how the person that had my class while i was on leave didnt get to keep the job....u know im sad for her to she did work really hard while i wasnt there and myself and my friend that i share my job with thanked her for all her hard work, but lets just say people are making my return to work harder than it need be...as if it wasnt hard enough to go to work with the guilt i feel about having my kids in day care while im at work, as if it wasnt hard enough to walk into a class that has had another teacher for the whole year and attempt to fit in with that class and their parents and put a positive spin on everything all the other shit that has hopped on the train is making everything so much more difficult
i wish it didnt worry me but it does, i wish i was the type of person that would say hey, get over it im here to do my job so just leave me be but im not, im the type that will take it to heart and end up really hurt by what they r doing to say im sick of having it blamed on me would be an understatement (and ive only been there for 2 days this week...next week will be great with 3 wont it)
and to make everything worse
emily didnt sleep last night after spending a full day in care she was so clingy last night we couldnt put her down. I missed my kids like crazy yesterday and today and i know they missed me but being awake all night and then going to work is not fun
then today miss lilly split her head open !...just as i arrived to pick her up from daycare so i spent the afternoon and first part of the night in the emergency where they thankfully glued the problem up
sorry for unloading
i so wanted to retreat back into my little scrapbook world tonight but i am so buggered mainly emotional that i think i will be going to bed very soon!