its all about lilly today
as she turns 4
I will never for as long as i live forget the moment that i found out I was pregnant with you. It had been a strange time in my life as we walked the road of infertility between natural and medical assistance and the complete range of HIGH and extremely low emotions that go with it. I never for the life of me expected that test to come up with two lines that night...BUT IT DID.
We had been on holidays with my mum and her husband paul on the gold coast, we were resting and not thinking about being pregnant finally deciding a break from it all was what we needed. I was ill for quite alot of that holiday and couldnt stomach things like drink and breakfast (i know i should of known then and there...but i didnt...i knew i was pregnant with emily straight away cause of the same feelings...but not with lilly)
we came home still having no idea that our miss lilly was on her way finally turning us into a real family, it was a week after this that i was still complaining about not really feeling all that well and that i was extremely tired that my mum had said what if your pregnant?????
I was immediately off the phone and on my way down to the supermarket...funny thing is it never crossed my mind until that phone call...i spent the whole time until seeing the test saying I'm not, don't get hopeful (we had had so many high hopes dashed during that time in our lives)
I peed on the stick and then wondered off to do some other things including a phone call to your god mother and forgot about the test sitting on my toilet floor, still on the phone i went in to the test not expecting anything when there it was....2 LINES!!!!!!...2 lines...i dropped the phone and couldn't speak when sam asked me what was wrong i told her i had just done a test and it was positive....it was positive....i was FINALLY pregnant....at this point i really couldn't believe my eyes i almost hyperventilated i was in total SHOCK. when i rang my mother back i just said its positive and she didn't know what i was talking about for a second. This night...BEST IN MY LIFE, it is on a line with Lilly and Emily's birth but i will never ever forget this one moment that changed my world forever...there were alot of tears that night...tears of shock, disbelief, complete and utter joy and then some of fear as well.
lillys pregnancy didnt go without complication however and she was born a month early and low in birth weight (5pound 6) there had been placenta issues as well as my own high blood pressure issues and her birth while natural was with assistance and extremely scary....amazingly she recovered so quickly and so well that we were only seperated for a few hours (i wonder if its this experience even just a few hours that it was is what makes me not enjoy being away from my children...we dont do the baby sitting thing very often at all...i like having my kids with me or with at least one parent in general...funny i think im actually proud of the fact that they dont get watched by others very often except for the neccessity of day care for when im at work, we are very hands on parents i think or i hope)
after a rocky start...4 years down the track and my big girl is amazing. She is so independent which i would say she gets from me, she likes to do it herself (that is so me lol) She is kind and loving but strong willed and well can be stubborn...something else she gets from me hehe...and my beautiful girl used in the right way these things r so assets..: ) believe me i know. I cant believe how beautiful my girl is (both of them r actually) ringlets of curls and eyelashes most of us need to use fake ones to get, she is tall and skinny and has so much energy and generally loves life. I have loved being home for the last 12 months as it has allowed me to get to know my big girl and the child she has become in a completely differnet light. She LOVES being outside running around playing in the sandpit or her fort and chasing the dog. She LOVES craft and art she call s it all making lol. She pushes and challenges me to be the best i can be . She is daddys girl always has been there is just something between them that is so special and its really nice to watch them together :) Lilly is such a girl, she loves clothes (god help me lol) and hair pretties and rings and bangles all that dress up stuff but is a shocker at cleaning up and keeping her room tidy (something else im also hopeless at you should see this room lol) Both my girls may look like their father but this post has really shown me how much lilly and I are alike as well...its amazing really
I LOVE YOU BABY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG NUMBER 4!