thankyou so much, you all have no idea what it felt like to log in this morning to the 30 messages of love and support, knowing that you are all thinking of my girl helps in every way. thankyou to those that can offer actual help...i have no idea what i do or dont need and feel totally unable to make decisions beyond whats happening with emily and our third party claim that i had to start...thankfully the social workers at the hospital are now acting on my behalf for the most part. at some point i will actually check my real email...maybe tomorrow.
emily had a great night with a fairly good sleep. i am suffering from fairly frequent and violent flash backs of the whole accident as if someone was showing me footage with surround sound. im not sleeping well and when i finally do i wake with a fright every half hour or so...im spent totally. and really dont know what direction to go in for anything.
emily is now fasting for another operation in the early part of the afternoon, i know she needs them, but the idea of another operation so close to the one we have just had fills me with a dread that i cant describe. More wound checking, tissue to deal with and a reset of the fracture now the swelling is kind of less...well its less in her fingers. A check of the nerves and maybe a closure of the actual wound. Unsure at this point....i understand they cant tell us much, i understand her injuries r bad and rare....i just want someone to tell me that she can be left be for a little while to heal and then face some more surgery for her wrist...if they dont close the wound today we will still have one more visit to threatre before any healing can start to happen. the worst thing i have ever done in my life till now is all of this. watching your child put to sleep for an operation is about the worse thing i have ever seen...or suffered through...and followed by the not knowing what is happening or how she is just not good.
on the plus side emily has gone for a little walk this morning and been sitting up in bed, watching tv, playing with toys and demanding cuddles...about the best things i have ever seen or heard in my life.
on the plus side the hospital is fantastic, we are all very well looked after and ronald mcdonald house u never want to have to use things like this but knowing that its there and lilly is safe over there with my mum is a huge comfort to me. i will never walk past a mcdonalds without donating ever again.
i dont have a charger for my phone...it will go at some point today...if u cant get ahold of us that is why...if u need us just ring the hospital to find us....royal childrens melbourne, ward 4 north.